Chrane Launches Chrane Air
April Fools 2019
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE - Duane Guidry and Christopher East, founders of Chrane Foodservice Solutions LLC, announce the immediate launch of regional airline Chrane Air, LLC, servicing the foodservice industry in the Texas & Oklahoma skies.
Derived out of a frustration of lengthy vehicular travel, traffic jams, oppressive TSA lines and inconvenient flight schedules, Chrane Air offers expedient, safe and luxurious travel between major travel hubs and satellite branches, including Dallas/Fort Worth, Houston, San Antonio, Austin, Oklahoma City, Tulsa, San Angelo, McAllen and Longview.
Chrane Air’s initial flight will be flown by veteran Sales Representative, Mr. Nicholas Sierra. “Having graduated with a degree and license to fly Commercial Airliners, I figure it will be like riding a bike again after thirteen years having not been in the cockpit. At 32,000 feet. With the lives of passengers in my hands,” notes Captain Sierra.
Chrane Air's initial flight will be flown by veteran Sales Representative, Mr. Nicholas Sierra. “Having graduated with a degree and license to fly Commercial Airliners, I figure it will be like riding a bike again after thirteen years having not been in the cockpit. At 32,000 feet. With the lives of passengers in my hands,” notes Captain Sierra.
To offset the astronomical start-up costs of aircraft, hangers, marketing, aircraft mechanics, tooling, FAA approvals (pending) and labor, Chrane Air is taking a creative approach to raising capital. Chrane Marketing Coordinator, Meredith Mulliken states, “I am a HUGE fan of NASCAR. When Chris posed the idea of getting a Chrane Plane, I could not help but notice all that white surface that could be used for revenue generating advertising.” Mulliken continues after opening her next Budweiser, “We have successfully secured sponsorships from Chrane’s valued Manufacturing partners to help offset expenses while our exciting venture gets off the ground – both literally and figuratively”.
Chrane is also exploring green cost savings measures such as recycling fryer oil for jet fuel and issuing Cambro GoBags as preferred light and durable luggage to save fuel costs. “We thought it foolish to not launch April 1st. Chrane Air will revolutionize the convenience, comfort and commerce for the Foodservice Industry in Texas & Oklahoma. As I’ve always said, if the squirrel cage don’t smell like silly putty, then that cat’s never coming home.”, according to Chrane Air Chief Farce Operator (CFO) Mr. Duane Guidry.
“For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return.” – Leonardo da Vinci
For questions or further information regarding Chrane Air, LLC or Chrane Foodservice Solutions, LLC, please reach out to Mr. Christopher East at ceast@chranefs.com
Happy April Fools!
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